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Sarcastic Panda’s Weekly Digest

A $6/month subscription for those who've had enough of toxic positivity.

Coming soon.. or later.. or never.

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Ready to Subscribe for Sarcasm?

All content is semi-based on real psychological, career, and lifestyle frameworks—just filtered through enough irony to be tolerable. We understand that subscribing won't solve your problems, but we will try to make them funnier.

You can cancel anytime. We won't guilt-trip you like other subscription services. We have enough emotional baggage already.

Every Sunday, get slapped with three painfully relatable, sarcastically genius articles—perfect for scrolling while ignoring life responsibilities.

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Subscription for those who've had enough of toxic positivity.

Subscription for those who've had enough of toxic positivity.

What you get each week

Panda's Diary about everyday issues

The world is burning. Let's laugh about it. From climate disasters to social media existentialism, the Panda shares "diary entries" about global issues that are too serious to be taken seriously.

Example: "How to stay calm while the planet boils and billionaires plan their Mars escape."

Cartoon panda wearing sunglasses and a hoodie with 'Your Dreams' text, surrounded by motivational icons like a trophy, target, light bulbs, arrow, and lightning bolt on pink background.

Unicorn's tips for health & lifestyle

Wellness is a scam—but here's how to fake it with flair. Anti-motivational hacks to "feel better" without actually doing anything significant.

Example: "7 yoga poses for scrolling TikTok in bed" and "How to extend your life just enough to suffer longer—with grace."

Illustration of a cartoon unicorn wearing sunglasses, a T-shirt with "NO. I DON'T WANT." text, and sporty shoes, holding a smartphone. Background has pink icons like a heart, donut, apple, and lightning bolt.

dr. Sarcastic Parrot's growth guide

Because if you're gonna be a mess, at least be a self-aware mess. Confidence-building, life coaching, and purpose-finding tips rebranded as what they are: delusions with flair.

Example: "How to find your true calling in a world where everyone's already faking it."

Colorful parrot in sunglasses and black leather jacket, wearing a "Sarcastic Panda" shirt. "Sarcasm is the new black" text, with pink graphics of hearts, skulls, and lightning.

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