Q: What is Sarcastic Panda, anyway?
A: A lifestyle brand and uncomfortably humorous (we think so) blog for people who are done pretending everything’s fine. We make clothes and stuff with sarcastic quotes so you can wear your mood on your sleeve—literally.

Q: Are you just another print-on-demand store?
A: Nope. We actually care about quality and vibes. Every piece is designed in-house and judged by our team of over-caffeinated, emotionally unavailable pandas.

Q: How long does shipping take?
A: We’d love to tell you. But we haven’t launched the store yet. So for now, shipping time = zero, because there’s nothing to ship. Stay tuned—this will be a real answer VEEERY soon.

Q: Do you ship internationally?
A: We plan to. Sarcasm is a global language. But until our store is live, let’s just say your country is currently safe from impulse buys.

Q: Can I cancel my order?
A: Only if you've time-traveled to a future where our shop exists. If so, let us know—we have questions.

Q: Can I return something if I don’t like it?
A: Sure—once we actually sell something. For now, your return policy is simple: imagine a world where you can buy from us. Then imagine returning it. That’s all we’ve got.

Q: How do I request a refund?
A: First, you’ll need a product. Then, an order number. Right now, you have neither. So sit tight—we’ll disappoint you properly once we’re live.

Q: What sizes do you offer?
A: Sizes will range from XS to XXL. Because sarcasm looks good on everyone. Even your ex.

Q: What kind of materials do you use?
A: Soft, comfy, ethically sourced cotton blends. No scratchy nonsense here—your skin deserves better than your past decisions.

Q: Will the print fade?
A: Not if you don’t treat your clothes like trash. Wash cold, inside out, and you’ll be fine. We believe in commitment, unlike your last situationship.

Q: How do I contact you?
A: We’re not ghosts. Email us at hello@sarcasticpanda.com.

Q: Do you have a phone number?
A: No. We have anxiety. Email works better for both of us.

Q: Are you actual psychologists or certified coaches?
A: Nope. No PhDs or framed certificates on the wall. We're not here to diagnose, heal, or fix anyone. We’re just real humans who’ve been through burnout, existential spirals, late-stage capitalism, and every flavor of identity crisis you can think of.

Q: So... what gives you the right to talk about mental health stuff?
A: Lived experience. Lots of it. We’ve cried in bathrooms, overworked ourselves into oblivion, and read every self-help book that promised to fix us (spoiler: they didn’t). We turn that experience into sarcasm and statements you can wear.

Q: Is any of this based on science?
A: Some. We're not making things up, we just translate serious topics—like emotional exhaustion, hustle culture, and self-awareness—into punchy quotes and painfully relatable merch. Think of us as the unlicensed therapists you meet at 2am in a diner.

Q: So you're not professionals. Are you trying to help people or what?
A: We’re not here to fix you. We’re here to say “same” when the world feels too much. If our stuff makes you laugh, feel seen, or slightly less alone in the chaos—then yeah, we’d call that help. Just not the medical kind.

Q: Can I suggest a quote for your next drop?
A: Yes! Send it over. If it makes us snort laugh, we’ll consider putting it on a hoodie.

Q: Will you collab with influencers?
A: If your vibe is right and your followers aren’t all bots, hit us up.

Q: Do you offer wholesale or bulk orders?
A: Yup. Email us for custom deals and prices. We love a good group therapy session via matching tees.